Individual differences and how they affect relationships is no doubt a subject for a whole book. But one does not need a book to begin to become more aware of how they are perceived and how others perceive them based on an inaccurate read of individual differences. It is understood that humans are mostly alike. It is also understood that we also have differences. The problem of course is knowing when we are like others and when we are not. The classic problem of assuming you understand the way someone thinks and feels has, and likely always will, continue to be one if not the most significant problems that individuals face in dealing with others in the world. Our first thought is usually to assume you know what someone thinks and feels. The first thought to view the world through our own lens and then assume others have the same lens is the major problem. Communication takes on an unprecedented level of importance when you begin to examine the likely magnitude of misunderstandings that go on between people. Factors like IQ, EQ, age, culture, religion, education, gender, life experiences, and personality to name some all combine to make each of us unique. Think about how we assume a person doesn’t care about doing a good job when we see them being slack at work. What if they are depressed? What if they are struggling in life? What if they are not well suited for the job? How can you know what is going on in someone else. You can’t. You might come closer if you talk with them at length. So if we are all unique then we don’t all want the same things. We don’t all feel the same way about certain things. I would suggest that a good start might be to do a free personality test online and see if the results ring true. It may help you see your own nature better. You could encourage people in your life to take the same test and then read each others results. If you realize that someone enjoys meeting new people and you don’t that might explain why at a party where you know the other people and your companion doesn’t it goes well. Flip it and it goes poorly. How many problems have arisen because we mistakenly have guessed what others are thinking and feeling? When you first understand that you are unique it makes it easier for you to recognize others are as well. Frankly humans need this diversity in order to cooperate as a society. Someone has to like to farm. Someone has to enjoy making things. Someone must be okay with taking care of others. Ask yourself the question how am I different and how am I the same as the people around me.
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